The New “Norm”
Last weekend my girlfriends and I got together for what we called “Cul-De-Sac & Chill”. Basically, everyone parked their car in the cul-de-sac in front of one of the girls’ house and set up shop in the trunk of their SUV…from a safe distance, of course. We all brought food and drinks for ourselves so it was a bona fide quarantine-style girl’s night. I’m the only one with a sedan so I hung out of the window like Ace Ventura with a big grin. Am I showing my age with that one? Anyway, we had an amazing time getting together to laugh and talk and vent about any and everything.
As I drove home late that night, the weight of our new norm really hit me. It felt odd to be on the interstate after not having traveled on one for the past 8+ weeks. Things looked the same, but different. I looked around at the empty streets and darkened parking lots that were at one time jumping with action on a Saturday night. I started wondering about the few cars that I did see out. Where were they going or coming from? Had they been out to see friends too? Were they going to check on a loved one? Were they essential workers heading in for a shift?
Chiiiiile, I’ve never sat wondering about what other folks were doing in their cars! That heightened sense of awareness was quite unsettling…and saddening…and exhausting. As is the new norm. A norm that no one can really settle into because everything about the way we are living is unsettling. We are locked away and can’t be near the people we love. Food and supplies have been scarce in some areas. People are getting horrendously sick and dropping like flies. And to varying degrees, we all have to wake up every morning and figure out how to make it through the day.
Sure, there are positives to be found in this time and I encourage everyone to seek them out but this time and space is generally full of anxiety and uncertainty. We are hopeful and look forward to the day that we can safely gather together again in a way that resembles what we’re used to (because that time will certainly come) but if we’re truly honest with ourselves, that will likely be many months or in my opinion, certainly over a year away from now. I know some governors (mine) have lifted restrictions but it’s still not safe enough. More people than what we’ve already seen are going to get sick and sadly, some won’t recover. So where am I going with this?
I’m writing to encourage you guys to live the best life you can live given the circumstances we’ve been dealt. Y’all, its literally all we can do. Forget about how life used to be. I’ll repeat that one more time for those in the back. FORGET about how life used to be. Those days are gone. Don’t keep fantasizing about “when outside opens”. You’ll miss out on the blessings of THIS season. Be present. That’s a lesson to live by even outside of this corona nightmare.
When we’re in the middle of fall we don’t sit around all day talking about summer parties and barbecue’s past nor do we obsess over all the things we’ll do next spring. We put on our jackets and hats to keep ourselves protected from the cold. We eat hearty stews and drink hot chocolate; things we wouldn’t typically touch in summer or spring. We’re not out and about at somebody’s festival or show every weekend. We slow down. I hope you see where I’m going with this.
Of course we enjoy sipping drinks by the pool in a bathing suit, but we do not choose misery for the whole of fall and winter because the conditions outside aren’t favorable. We adapt. We find new ways to entertain and care for ourselves. We continue to live with joy and gratitude.
Yes! This sucks. It’s ghetto. We hate it here. We want our nails and hair done. (If you’ve seen my IG stories, you know I’ve been struggling.) We’re tired of cooking. We want to go to brunch. The kids are driving us crazy. I propose that we learn how to do our own nails or just take good care of our real ones. The same goes for our hair. (Sigh.) Order some takeout. Keep zooming and brunch over video chat. Throw those kids away! I’m kidding. Our children are blessings…even when they aren’t acting like it.
Guys, this isn’t going to just POOF disappear. It’s going to be a loooong time before it dies down. So push!! Make the necessary adjustments. Keep going and being thankful for all you have. Your health, your home, your family. Live your life in a way that you’ll be able to look back on this time and tell your grandchildren that you made it work. And just think, when this does pass we will be able to draw strength from this time when we’re faced with any other obstacle in life.
Remember, the storm always passes. I pray we will all be here and in good health to see the sunshine break through. Continue to use wisdom, take shelter as best as you can, remain hopeful and be present as we all keep navigating this new norm.
